Phantom Popstars
by Gaby de Chagny
Summary: Apparently Ficcynet has some problem with this story. Oh well,too bad so sad. *grins* All reviewers feel free to review again! I'll have it all back up and be writing again soon
1. Ficcynet ish evil!

Author Notes: I am dangerous with pop-type music while reading poto related topics. This is probably not good for -any- character lover of poto...as...everyone is probably going to be bashed senseless. Oh...and I don't own a damn thing.*sigh* ...except myself. *Snicker* and the audience members/security guards own themselves....  
  
The typical psycho teen phan girl walks out,in black,onto a stage in a hick town,she'd have picked a better spot if she COULD have.. ...but she couldn't drive. Brown hair was tied back into a pony tail so her blue eyes could somewhat see the scary looking southern people she'd been trapped with all her life. "Ugh.." She shuddered. WHY were these people gathered for something that'd be culturally..ok...so maybe -not- culturally enhancing. Someone was wearing a Justin Timberlake shirt..until it flew off and hit the stage. L.M twitched,threw the 3 inches of cloth back to the starved looking thing she guessed was female and sighed. When were the real Phans going to get here?  
  
At last! 50 or so people,some of the more extremists in white dresses with brown curly wigs or black outfits with varying shades of masks stepped in and took their seats. They promptly scared the shit out of the backwoods rednecks,whom flee out the emergency exit.  
  
L.M: Wonderful. Perfect entry. ...wow....I didn't know there were this many Phans here..*blink blink*  
  
Random Phan 1: Some of us kinda got shipped in from other areas.  
  
L.M:..Oh. Well...er...I'm sure....there's more than just ME..from...here...  
  
Phans: *crickets can be heard chirping*  
  
L.M: *exasperated sigh* No wonder I don't fit in here. OK. Since...we're all from...god knows where...hopefully everyone speaks english,because...if you don't..*pause*..well you have no idea what I'm saying anyway,do you? Oh well again. Our performers should be here any second at all. This is gonna be..flamilicious.  
  
Erik,Raoul,Christine,Nadir,Ayesha,Meg,Madame Giry,Carlotta,and Piangi all appear on the tiny stage,looking somewhat between disturbed at being so close to one another and confused.  
  
Erik: *looks around,suddenly realizing* Oh God no...  
  
Christine: We're not...  
  
Raoul: Pinwheel?  
  
Nadir: Oh yes we are...  
  
All,excluding Raoul: Another fanfic...*collective groan*  
  
Erik: Why am I condemned to get stuck in these damn things over and over and over and-  
  
L.M: -over again. Quit whining Erik,you sound like my bro. *blinks as she suddenly ducks a stainless steel trout thrown from the audience by one of the cloaked members*..eheh...whoops.*waves*HI!  
  
Audience Member: *hunkers down and glares,grumbles a bit too*  
  
L.M: he he..*turns back to gang on stage* ANYWAY! I haven't seen this..at least not in massive production. You're all going to be tortured with putting on pop songs of my choice..*glances out toward crowd and grins widely* And perhaps a few requests from my little friends...heh.  
  
Ayesha: ...meow?  
  
L.M: ...good point Ayesha. You can sing back up.  
  
Erik: how the HELL did you learn to understand my cat?!  
  
L.M: All Phans understand Ayesha,isn't that right?  
  
Ayesha: *looks up at Erik and nods* meow.  
  
Erik: *shudders* Phans..  
  
Raoul: ooo!OOOOO!*bounces over to L.M and points towards a cd which has found it's way on stage* what's THAT?  
  
L.M: ...the thickness of your brain? *walks over and picks up cd,which happens to have a note under it* What the hell? *reads note* It's..cindy...freaking..lauper...man. O...k....*glances out at crowd as a fairly sane looking person beside the stainless steel trout dude squirms a bit and tries to look innocent* ...I suppose this is for Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,yes?  
  
Audience Member 2: *nods* yep.  
  
L.M: *snickers,eyes the girls happily* okay hippie like person...  
  
Audience Member 2: *lets out a shriek of joy...which,unfortunatly echos,gets a glare from Audience Member 1,whom she shoves,a small shoving battle ensues*  
  
L.M: *sigh* Why can't they act their age? Let's see...I suppose I'll take requests in the form of people flinging cds at...*pauses,looks around*....Where's Buquet..the Managers...? My God! Where's Raoul!?  
  
Erik: Does anyone care?  
  
Raoul: *is cautiously examining the stairs* They go up AND down...amazing!  
  
L.M: *glance at Raoul*....not really. Someone find Moncharmin,Andre,Firmin,Debienne,Poligny and that...Furry dude who's name I can't pronounce.  
  
Christine: *smiles politely* Monseiur Lefevre?  
  
L.M: *nods* Yes. Furry Dude. I intend on having all the managers in this.  
  
Audience Member 1 & 2: *have gotten into a glaring fight by now,which ends in 2 shoving 1 off his chair*  
  
L.M: *sees this and sighs* Scythe,Daniel...make them behave.  
  
Scythe: Do we have to? They look so happy.  
  
L.M: ...Luna. Naked.  
  
Scythe: *twitches* Nevermind. *approaches the fight slowly* Hey,you two break it up.  
  
Daniel: Luna...naked?  
  
L.M: *glare* No Luna naked for you.  
  
Daniel: *erks and runs after Scythe* Ok..ok stop.  
  
L.M: now that that's taken care of..*turns back to the Phantom group* Go find the managers. *noone moves and just stares at the blue haired man* Hello? *noone moves still* QUIT STARING AT MY COUSIN DAMMIT!  
  
Everyone: *jumps*  
  
L.M: *smile* That's better. Now. Go.  
  
Everyone: *rushes off*  
  
A/n: Next time- The managers will be found! Songs will begin! YAYNESS! 


	2. Chapter 2

A/n: Since it seems people really want this thing to be done,I shall happily entertain you all. *smirk* On with the show.  
  
L.M: *standing out on the stage,having a staring contest with a good half of the audience.....Audience Member 1 & 2 are still growling at each other* ...Raoul is the most intelligent person in the world.  
  
Audience: *roars with laughter...and promptly loses staring contest*  
  
L.M: ok...so while we're waiting....anyone wanna do a sing along?  
  
Audience Member 1: NO.  
  
L.M: *narrows eyes* ....you're on The List now.  
  
Audience Member 1: *shrugs and goes back to growling at 2*  
  
Audience Member 2: *growls right back*  
  
L.M: well....erm...*looks off stage* Any luck on finding our wayward friends yet?  
  
Erik: *from off stage* not yet...we found Andre and Firmin's jackets...  
  
Christine: *whispers,but that echo comes into factor again* and their pants.  
  
L.M: *snickers and tries to shush the audience before they get out of hand* Try one of the dressing rooms.......or a bathroom...I'm positive you'll find'em.  
  
Raoul: *has somehow managed to get up to the balcony* OOOOOOOoooo look at all the pretty masked people....  
  
Audience Member 3: *turns and squeals* OOOO! He's gonna jump,he he!  
  
L.M: we could only be so lucky,tifa girl,turn around.  
  
Audience Member 3: *turns back around then looks around a bit* ....why am I here again?  
  
L.M: we had someone kidnap you.  
  
A.M 3 (all audience members will be A.M from now on,their numbers tell them apart.): Oh..ok.  
  
L.M: ...ok...any year now....*blinks at 3 more people attempting to get in* Scythe...let'em in...  
  
Scythe: *sighs,then remembers the threat from earlier and half runs over to let them in*  
  
People: *two rush the stage,one stands back and looks somewhere between thoughtful,confused,and a bit unhappy about this whole bit.*  
  
L.M: Eek! *tries to run away* HELP!!!  
  
Person 1: *glomps on to her leg* Big SIS!!! Lu LU!!!  
  
L.M: *whimpers*...DAAAAAANNNNIIIEEEELLLLL!!!  
  
Daniel: *is over in a corner,flirting with a girl* well yeah,you know how it is,teachers just never give you enough time for anything...  
  
L.M: DANIEL GET OVER HERE BEFORE I SMACK YOU!  
  
Daniel: *looks up,looks back at the girl,sighs,and plods over to help*  
  
Scythe: *is already dragging the other person away*  
  
Person 2: She's my GIRLFRIEND! Let me GO already!  
  
Scythe: Nope. Not until L.M says so.  
  
Person 3: *meanders over to the middle of the crowd,finds a seat,and plops down silently and just watches*  
  
L.M: *STARES at 2*...how...? *looks over at one of the Phans* you weren't kidding when you said you guys came from everywhere! *bounces off the stage and jumps onto Person 2*YAY!  
  
Person 1: *pouts*  
  
Person 3: *sits there,indifferently,kind of looking like Squall.*  
  
L.M: *realizes who 3 is*....ut oh....  
  
Person 2: *happens to realize it at the same time* What's HE doing here?  
  
L.M: *narrows eyes at 2* leave'im alone. *thinks,suddenly gives 2 an evil grin* Go sit next to squally boy.  
  
Person 2: *narrows eyes back*  
  
L.M: *crosses arms over chest* No Tali for a month.  
  
Person 2: *sighs and walks off...but sits about 12 seats down from squally boy*  
  
L.M: ...well at least they aren't killing each other.*glances at Daniel*...yet.*heads off stage to check things out*  
  
Person 1: *sits himself in a front seat,pouting a bit*I wanted her to sign Luna's picture...  
  
AM 1: Oh get over it...ACK!  
  
AM 2: *shoves him over a chair with a grin then hugs Person 1* It's okay hun,ask her after the show.  
  
P (p-person.) 1: *smiles slightly* alright.  
  
*scene change,backstage area*  
  
L.M: *walks around,looking into dressing rooms curiously,and behind a few sets* herrrreee managers managers managers managers...  
  
Nadir: *runs into L.M* Excuse me,you haven't seen....*recognizing her* Oh.  
  
L.M: Haven't seen who? and Oh indeed.  
  
Nadir: *blinks,wondering what he did this time and if a chandelier is going to hit him anytime soon (A/n: he's about the only character I've ever seen NOT get hit.): Erik. He's disappeared as well.  
  
L.M: *twitches* Erik's...missing?!  
  
Nadir: That's what I just said..  
  
L.M: *runs over and rips the fire alarm down,grabs a megaphone,runs out on stage and screams* ERIK'S MISSING!! EVERYONE GET THEIR BUTTS IN GEAR AND LOOK!!!! NOW!  
  
Audience: *crickets,except for a few -really- psycho phans who instantly rush off to do L.M's bidding*  
  
L.M: *faint blink* Good enough. ...Now how do we turn the fire alarm off...?  
  
Erik: *walks out from the backstage curtain,hands over his ears* What IS that infernal screeching?!  
  
L.M: *blinks*...uh oh.  
  
Phans: *run back,dressed as a few different types of Erik's,look at each other then start a shoving match to almost beat AM 1 & 2's*  
  
L.M: really....*shakes her head and looks down at Person 2* Hey...Lark,help me with somethin'?  
  
Lark: *eyeing Person 3 darkly* What.  
  
L.M: Go calm down the Erik imposters..either that,or get them up on stage and let me see if I can work something out...*smirks evilly in Erik's direction*  
  
Erik: *whimpers* I need counseling...  
  
Christine: You already got it in someone else's fic though..  
  
Erik: It didn't help OKAY?! *twitches*  
  
Lark: *is over with Scythe and Daniel,attempting to stop the Erik look-a-likes* Now look here..  
  
L.M: *glances at the song list* Where are the managers..? They're up first....  
  
Andre: *runs out,pantless but thankfully with boxers on,whimpering* Where did I put my pants...?  
  
Firmin: *from off stage* Hee hee...I dunno...  
  
Lefevre: *is dragged out by Nadir*  
  
L.M: *grins* Good Nadir,you get a treat.  
  
Raoul: Like a pinwheel?  
  
L.M: *looks annoyedly at Raoul...who is STILL up in the balcony* Get your stupid little foppy butt down here or I'll send Gabe after you.  
  
Audience: *shudders*  
  
Raoul: Who's....Gabe....?  
  
Gabe: *taps him on the back calmly*  
  
Raoul: *turns around and flushes*  
  
Gabe: *smiles sweetly* -I'm- Gabe. Planning on following her orders any time soon?  
  
Raoul: Uh huh...*hunkers down*  
  
Gabe: Then do so.  
  
Raoul: *jumps off the balcony,thankfully he hits his head,so no damage,and scurries up to the stage*  
  
Gabe: *sits in the balcony,happening to have it all to himself* Smart boy.  
  
L.M: *grins*Thanks Gabe.*looks around* Ok..now..let's see....We still need Buquet,Debienne,Poligny and Moncharmin..  
  
Moncharmin: *runs out,being chased by Buquet* We're here! AH! someone get'im away from me!!!  
  
L.M: *watches with a little interest for a while then shakes her head* Didn't wanna haveta do this...Talon..could you?  
  
Talon: *sighs and walks out from backstage* I was supposed to be tech only.  
  
L.M: Yeah,I know. But kick Buquet in the ass and restart his brain?  
  
Talon: Fine. *walks over,does as L.M says,Buquet freezes*  
  
Buquet: *looks around*...where am I....who am I?  
  
Erik: You're the idiot I hung because you kept telling the ballet girls how to avoid my Punjab.  
  
Buquet: Oh yeah! Okay then.  
  
L.M: *sweatdrops and looks around at everyone,who has finally assembled on stage* Alright. Since you're all FINALLY here,you're all singing. Maybe a few audience members too.  
  
A.M 1: *suddenly looks slightly wary*  
  
Person 3: *smiles a bit* I'd be happy to sing.  
  
L.M: *looks back* sorry Maddiun,no eyes on me.  
  
Maddiun: *frowns a bit and goes back to looking slightly brooding*  
  
Person 1: *suddenly launches into Cowboy bebop's end song* Aishiteta to nageku ni wa amari ni mo toki wa sugi te shimatta mada kokoro no hokorobi o iyasenumama kaze ga fuiteru  
  
L.M: *clamps her hands over her ears and screams* shut UP Dash!  
  
Dash: *hunkers down*sorry....  
  
L.M: *twitches some and looks back at the cast* NOW. No more delays. You have 10 minutes to learn the lines to the songs you will be assigned. Managers,you're up first. Your costumes are in dressing room 3.  
  
Debienne: ...costumes?  
  
L.M: *smirks* Costumes. Your lyrics and cds are also in there...*pause*..nevermind. I'll come with you and show you how to work a cd player...  
  
Andre: *looks -very- confused as all 6 managers troop off after her and Talon takes his position back at the sound and lighting board*  
  
Lark: *walks back and flops down beside Scythe then looks around* Where'd she go?  
  
Scythe: Luna girly?  
  
Lark: Yeah.  
  
Scythe: *shrugs* she disappears a lot...  
  
Lark: I see..*begins his glaring bit at Maddiun again*  
  
Maddiun: *just kind of ignores it and stares off into space*  
  
Daniel: *walks over and pokes him gently* Didn't know you were going to make it here too.  
  
Maddiun: *blinks* Yes.  
  
Daniel: Cool. Why is that guy glaring at you?  
  
Maddiun: *looks up at him*  
  
Daniel: ooohh...  
  
Lark: *still glaring away at Maddiun*  
  
AM 1: *looks around* I'm bored.  
  
Dash: So am I,wanna rp?  
  
AM 1: No.  
  
Dash: ok. um..let's see. Hi Lythos,how are you today?  
  
Lythos: *glares at him* I said I didn't want to Rp.  
  
Dash: I know.  
  
AM 2: *sighs* Dash,leave Lythos alone.  
  
Dash: Ok Isis.  
  
Scythe: Wish Iria was here right now...  
  
AM 3: I'm here! FFSU!  
  
Scythe: OKAY!  
  
AM 3: YAY!  
  
Scythe: So...about Glenn,Tifa...  
  
Tifa: *nods*I'm listening..  
  
*BackStage*  
  
L.M: NO,it's not Young HEN. Young MEN!  
  
Andre: What the hell is this jacket made out of...?  
  
L.M: *sigh* People. Now just put it on.  
  
Poligny: Do I have to wear the hat?  
  
L.M: Yes.  
  
Moncharmin: Me to-  
  
L.M: *starting to lose her temper* Yes.dear.  
  
Moncharmin: *gulps* okay.  
  
*On Stage*  
  
Erik: *looking up into the rafters*too flimsy to support any decent weight....  
  
Nadir: Erik,what are you doing?  
  
Erik: *jumps and turns*Nothing.  
  
Nadir: *frowns,eyes him,then heads off*  
  
Raoul: I wonder if kitties really DO land on their feet...  
  
Ayesha: *gulps* mew...  
  
L.M: *rushes out* 1 minute until the first song! Everyone clear the stage! *snickers darkly* Talon,get the music ready!  
  
Talon: Can't believe you're using this bloody god awful shit...  
  
L.M: It's supposed to be torture...  
  
Lythos: but you're ALREADY on stage.  
  
L.M,Erik,Lark,Scythe,Maddiun,Daniel,Isis,Dash,Gabe,and Tifa: *all glare at Lythos*  
  
Lythos: just...kidding....  
  
L.M: Hmph.*looks at her watch*okay..15 seconds! Lights down,Lark,be a dear and get the ones in the actual room for me?*smiles*  
  
Lark: *smiles back*Sure. *lights go off*  
  
*Stage is black,people can be heard tromping onto it as a mutter of 'I think these chaps are chaffing me..' is heard*  
  
L.M: Now Talon!  
  
*Music comes up..it sounds faintly familiar...but the crowd just can't place it until the managers are revealed in their costumes. A cowboy,a policeman,a construction worker,an indian,a biker,and a (someone correct me if I'm wrong) navy officer*  
  
Lefevre as Policeman: Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said young man, pick yourself off the ground. I said young man, 'cause you're in a new town. There's no need to be unhappy.  
  
Moncharmin as Construction Worker: Young man, there's a place you can go. I said young man, when you're short on your dough. You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find. Many ways to have a good time. *cringes realizing what he just sung*  
  
Audience: *roars with laughter*  
  
Andre and Firmin as Cowboy and Indian,Andre lassos Firmin: It's fun to stay at the   
  
L.M: *shoves Raoul out in a bright pink leotard,complete with tutu* DO IT!  
  
All Managers: *singing* YMCA   
  
Raoul: *spelling out the letters with his arms,looking rather upset* I don't like this....  
  
Madame Giry: Meg,he has better form than you do..  
  
Meg: Ha ha.  
  
Poligny as Navy Officer: They have everything for young men to enjoy. You can hang out with all the boys. *pause* Oh dear lord...  
  
Daniel,Scythe,Maddiun and Lark: *give involuntary shudders*  
  
Debienne as Biker: Young man, are you listening to me. I said young man, what do you want to be.  
  
Poligny: Yours  
  
Debienne: WHAT?!  
  
Poligny: She told me to say it!*points at L.M*  
  
L.M: *snickers darkly* Go on,go on!  
  
Debienne: *giving Poligny a wary look* I said young man, you can make real your dreams. But you've got to know that one thing.  
  
Poligny: *chiming in happily* No man does it all by himself! I said young man, put your pride on the shelf! And just go there, to the YMCA. I'm sure they can help you today!  
  
All Managers: *singing* YMCA   
  
Raoul: *spelling again* I'm going to break a nail!  
  
Andre: Young man, I was once in your shoes *reaches over and pats Raoul's shoulder comfortingly* I said, I was down and out with the blues. I felt no man cared if I was alive. I felt the whole world was so jive.  
  
Firmin: *getting rather snuggly in that lasso* That's when someone came up to me. And said young man, take a walk up the street. There's a place there called the YMCA. They can start you back on your way.  
  
All once more: It's fun to stay at the YMCA   
  
Raoul: *looking annoyed* Do they have to say it so often?  
  
L.M: Shut up Raoul.  
  
Crowd: *having gotten into this* YMCA!  
  
Raoul: AHH!*spells it as fast as he can*  
  
Crowd: *getting an idea,they begin chanting it so fast they sound like hamsters on speed*  
  
Raoul: *screams as he tries to keep up*SLOW *pant* DOWN!  
  
Crowd: *continue*  
  
Raoul: *faints*  
  
Crowd: *cheers*  
  
All managers: You can get yourself clean  
  
Buquet: *comes along with a push broom and sweeps Raoul off the stage*  
  
All managers: You can have a good meal  
  
Firmin: *lusty wink at Andre* You can do whatever you feel.  
  
Andre: *blushes*  
  
L.M: *laughs as music stops and hurries them off stage,getting a round of applause* Okay,someone revive the fop,Christine,we'll need you and Erik for this next one too. Nadir,drag Lythos up here...you guys get back up.  
  
Nadir: *eyeing her more warily than ever*...alright...  
  
Lythos: BACKUP?! NOOOO!!  
  
L.M: *cackles*  
  
A/n: What horrific things do I have in store for them next time? What terrible deeds lie ahead? Update coming soon! 


	3. chapter 3I'll rename these eventually

The All Powerful Author Notes: Heh. Okay,hopefully no Village People lover mobs are gathering to hunt me down. At least not yet. Let me get the story out first,okay? ^_^ That is all. Read and Review.  
  
*An hour later,after getting the rather traumatized managers out of their costumes and letting everyone place orders for lunch..*  
  
Erik: *sitting in front of a dressing room door*...I'm bored.  
  
Lythos: *sitting across from him*...That's my line.  
  
Erik: Is not. I'm older than you.  
  
Lythos: ...so?  
  
Erik: ...so...I invented it before you.  
  
Lythos: Again,so? It's still my line.  
  
Erik: *sigh* If you say so.  
  
Lythos: I do.*glare*  
  
Erik: *blinks at glare*...what?  
  
L.M: *walks -over- Erik* He's just glaring because he's jealous of how cute you are.  
  
Lythos: Oh gods...  
  
Erik: *twitches* She's one of those psycho Me-Phans,isn't she?  
  
L.M: *blinks* Genius you aren't,today. One would think with all the bashing Raoul's gotten....  
  
Raoul: *walks up,starts to speak,but emits a...meow?*  
  
Erik: *jumps* Did he...*suddenly menacing as he stands* Eat.My.Cat?  
  
Raoul: Meow.  
  
L.M: *steps in front of Erik and begins to examine Raoul* I...dunno.  
  
Raoul: Meow.  
  
Ayesha: *walks up and rubs against Erik*mewwww..  
  
Raoul: Meow.  
  
L.M: *looks down* Apparently not...*slaps Raoul*What's wrong with you now?  
  
Raoul: *smiles* Huh?  
  
Lythos: ...did...his brain get stuck?  
  
L.M: *shrugs* doesn't matter...Where's Nadir?  
  
Nadir: *grumbles from inside the room* Must I wear this?  
  
L.M: *snickers* Yep. *grabs Raoul,Erik,and Lythos and shoves them inside* Go get ready.  
  
Lythos,Erik: Ack!  
  
Raoul: Meow!  
  
L.M: *walks back on stage,humming happily to herself,flops down and looks around,then spots Isis* Hey,c'mere a second.  
  
Isis: *blinks then walks up to the stage,having been talking with Dash* Yes?  
  
L.M: Hey Techy Talon,you c'mere too.  
  
Talon: *walks out,sees Isis,blinks*  
  
Isis: *blinks*  
  
L.M: *holds up a dressing room key* Go.  
  
Isis: *grabs the key*  
  
Talon: *grabs Isis and runs*  
  
L.M: *coughs* Now...that that's done...*pause*...crap,we need a new techy dude. Hey..Gabe?  
  
Gabe: *from the balcony* I'm quite comfortable up here,thank you.  
  
L.M: *looks around*...Anyone else?  
  
Managers: *glare at L.M from the corner of the stage they're huddled on*  
  
L.M: I didn't mean YOU all. *sighs,frowns a bit...then eyes Maddiun*...think you could...  
  
Lark: *glares* The only way he's back stage with you is if I come too.  
  
L.M: *sighs more* Fluck. Ok. Fine. Both of you get back there.  
  
Maddiun: ...but I didn't agree to anything...  
  
L.M: Too bad. *hops off the stage,walks over to him,and pouts*  
  
Maddiun: *sighs* Fine.  
  
Lark: *growls*  
  
L.M: *walks over to Lark and kisses his cheek* Calm down.  
  
Lark: *grumbles*  
  
Maddiun: *heads on back to the light/sound table,trips going across the stage*  
  
L.M: *blinks worriedly* You okay Maddiun?  
  
Maddiun: *groans and gets back up*Yeah.  
  
Lark: *rushes after him and continues to growl at him some*  
  
Maddiun: *makes his way back to the table,then stands there and shudders at the music*  
  
Lark: *leans against the wall and eyes him*  
  
L.M: *hops back onto the stage and looks out over the Phans*....so what do we do now?  
  
Scythe: *still deep in the conversation with Tifa* Yeah....but didn't you always wonder about those feathers...?  
  
Tifa: No...  
  
Scythe: Something tells me Trinity likes them...  
  
Tifa: Doesn't Tomo-girly have some character with feathers..?  
  
Scythe: Lulu has feathers..  
  
L.M: *twitches* She does not.  
  
Scythe: Wrong Lulu.  
  
L.M: *flops backwards on the stage...then suddenly has a drop of something hit her stomach*AH!  
  
Daniel: *back to flirting with that girl* Well,I -do- know of this really quiet dark room and-*looks up at the stage* Ah what?  
  
L.M: *wipes the drop off* It looks like blood..*sticks her finger in her mouth,licking it off some* Kinda tastes like blood..*sniffs her finger then shudders* ew...  
  
Dash: Why ew?  
  
L.M: Because it smells like my dog. Hey,Lythos!  
  
Lythos: *troops out from backstage in black silky boxers* What.  
  
L.M: *shoves her finger in his mouth* Is that blood?  
  
Lythos: *blinks,looks down at her finger,then bites it and pulls away* If it wasn't before,it is now.  
  
L.M: *pouts and holds her finger* Meanie. *looks up* Hey..there's somethin' up there....  
  
Buquet & Piangi: *from offstage* It's not us!  
  
L.M: Really? Damn. *stands up,still holding her bitten digit,and walks off to see just -what- it is.*  
  
Dash: *looks forlorn* I'm...borrrrrrreeeeddddd...  
  
L.M: *sticks her head in to Erik,Nadir,Raoul,and Lythos' dressing room* Is all okay in here?  
  
Erik: *blinks faintly and places a hand calmly between his legs* Everything is fine,Mademoiselle.  
  
Raoul: *turns around* Huh?  
  
L.M: *screeches* I'm blind! *runs away* Someone burnt my eyes out!!!AAAAHHH!  
  
Raoul: *looks down* ...but...I've still got my underwear on....  
  
Nadir: It's.....yellow.  
  
Raoul: Nuh uh,it's Wolley.  
  
Lythos: Who the hells told you that?  
  
Raoul: My..mommy..*starting to look a bit teary eyed* Why..?  
  
Nadir: ...Wolley must just...look a lot like yellow..er...  
  
Erik: ....It's. Yellow. It's a very Ugly. shade of yellow. It's almost as bad as the blonde version of my poor Christine...  
  
Raoul: *growls* Christine's mine!  
  
Erik: Good for you. Speaking of which,where is Christine?  
  
********************************************************************  
  
L.M: *has made her way to the catwalk,cursing heights,and slowly creeping along the big swinging metal bridge* Bad...bad..this is BAD....Dammit,why didn't I send Buquet up here?!  
  
Buquet: *looks up at her* Because I have a decided fear of being up there now.  
  
L.M: *looks down at him* You weren't supposed to hear that.  
  
Buquet:...Oh.  
  
L.M: *shakes her head and continues to creep,seeing a rather big,dark,limp object ahead* What the?  
  
Erik: *shakes his head as he reads the lyrics* Such horrific use of the english language....  
  
Lythos: *shuddering* Too..many...bright...colors.....*twitches*  
  
L.M: *looks down at them* Quit complaining,you're up soon.  
  
Raoul: up...?  
  
Nadir: Don't confuse yourself Fop,your brain doesn't need fried. Hey! I didn't say that!  
  
Erik: *snickers to himself*  
  
L.M: *continues to shimmy along the catwalk,frowning to herself* I don't like this..don't like this at all...what..?EW!  
  
Lark: *looking up* What is it?  
  
L.M: It's...it's.....  
  
A/n: Tune in next time for the continuing saga of this freaky phic that emerged from my head. Thank you.  
  
(isn't it kind I make you all wait..  
  
and wait..  
  
and wait like this?) 


	4. chapter4

A/n: Lots of love to all my dear dear reviewees. *laughs* and to angel: sorry. We'll have singing in this one.  
  
L.M: .....Christine's dress! Ew! Get it away!!!  
  
Raoul: Christine's running around here NAKED?  
  
L.M: *shudders* I guess so....  
  
Raoul: *eyes widen* I'll go find her!  
  
Erik: *grabs him by those funky yellow undies* Oh no you won't.  
  
Raoul: *jumps forward and manages to rip them off* AH!  
  
Nadir: Oh..dear...*diverts his eyes*  
  
Lythos: ....That's pathetic.  
  
Erik: *blinks once or twice then laughs himself to tears*  
  
Raoul: *puts his hands over his butt* That was an accident!  
  
Erik: It's permant!  
  
Raoul: Shut up!!!  
  
Lythos: *grabs the hand and pulls it away* RdC + CD in a little heart...isn't that...cute.  
  
Raoul: *jumps around and keeps his hands clasped on his butt* It's not cute,it's not funny. Why won't you guys leave me alone?  
  
Erik: *trying to calm himself* Because...you've....got...a...heart shaped tattoo...on your ASS....  
  
Raoul: SO?!  
  
Nadir: So....that's...slightly extreme...  
  
L.M: *clears her throat from just above them* Ahem? Christine's dress? *thinks aloud* Maybe the rednecks got her....  
  
Isis: *from one of the rooms below,muffled* Oh that'd be such a loss.  
  
L.M: *mutters* Actually I doubt she'd lose anything.....  
  
Raoul: *looks up worriedly* Maybe we could have a dog sniff her out...  
  
L.M: *looks back down at him* Yeah. And maybe I could bring my dog,Sarla,here and she could just chew your-*eyes widen when she sees he's naked* PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!  
  
Raoul: But....it's...hot....  
  
L.M: It's March. You haven't SEEN...er...felt?...whatever...hot until July.  
  
Scythe: *from the stage area* She has a point.  
  
Raoul: If I put clothes on,can I go find Christine?  
  
Erik: *has vanished. Literally. He's gone.*  
  
L.M: *blinks* That's what I get for getting the -original- phantom and not michael...*glares at Raoul* So long as you KEEP those clothes on when you find her,fine.  
  
Raoul: *gives her a very dense look and begins putting his costume on* O.....k...ay....  
  
L.M: *drags the dress down,shuddering at having to be in contact with Christine's item of clothing,and absently wondering how many diseases she's going to get from this. She rushes over to the guys' dressing room and tosses the thing in* Have fun.  
  
Raoul: *dives on the dress and sniffs it...kind of dog like*  
  
Lythos: ...uh...What -are- you doing?  
  
Raoul:....getting her scent...?  
  
Lythos: .....  
  
Nadir: .....  
  
********************************************************************  
  
L.M: *walks back to the mini glaring contest between Maddiun and Lark,groans,kicks them both squarely and glares* Get along.  
  
Maddiun: He glared at me first.  
  
Lark: Bah! Look what YOU did!  
  
L.M: *sighs,flops back against the wall,checks her watch then continues to glare at them*  
  
Maddiun: So? I told you,no interest,none at all.  
  
Lark: *growls*  
  
L.M: *bangs her head against a wall for a bit,then looks over at Lark and hunts for her dressing room keyring* Where'd I put that...?  
  
Lark: *blinks* Put what?  
  
L.M: Never you mind,just keep glaring and growling at each other....*thinking* *You know...maybe the day in a room idea is a -good- thing...*  
  
Maddiun: *eyes her slightly* What are you planning?  
  
L.M: *grins,finding the keyring* Oh...nothing.... Hey Lark,could I have a word with you?  
  
Lark: *raises a brow then nods,both of them walking off*  
  
************************************************************************  
  
*Back out in the Auditorium and on Stage*  
  
Scythe: Ok...what else can we talk about other than FFSU?  
  
Tifa: um... ...Kingdom Hearts?  
  
Scythe: How about something a little more...violent...  
  
Tifa: But you whack things with a key..that's violent.  
  
Scythe: *sweatdrops* If you say so.  
  
Dash: *meanders over to them* Hi.  
  
Scythe: Hi.  
  
Tifa: Hi.  
  
Dash: *blink* Hi...?  
  
Scythe: *pause* Hi...  
  
Tifa: *grins* HI!  
  
Dash: Okay then.  
  
Scythe: Yep.  
  
Tifa: Tee hee!  
  
Dash: *moves slowly away from Tifa* I....think I'm going to...er...go to the bathroom. Yeah...that's it.  
  
Scythe: *stands up slowly* Yeah...me too.  
  
Gabe: *frowns down at Tifa*  
  
Tifa: *shuts up* Sorry...  
  
Gabe: You didn't shut up....*walks off silently with a smirk*  
  
Tifa: *gulps*  
  
Christine: *walks out on stage,looking around,a little bloody...but....not naked,as once thought. Instead,she has a t-shirt,shorts,and chunky heeled sandals on. She looks like the typical preppy teen type girl,if only she had pom poms...*  
  
Raoul: *happens to walk out,sees Christine,and walks over to her. He's now dressed in baggy pants,a baseball style cap,and a shirt about 12 sizes too big for him.* Hey...umm..you haven't seen my beloved Christine anywhere,have you?  
  
Christine: *nods* Uh huh.  
  
Raoul: *blinks* Nuh uh!  
  
Christine: Uh-HUH!  
  
Raoul: Nyuh Uh! Where?!  
  
Christine: Right here!  
  
Raoul: *eyes go wide* WHERE?!  
  
Christine: *points to herself* HERE.  
  
Raoul: *stares at the finger... ..or at least that's what we'll say he's staring at so we can stay at a PG-13 rating*  
  
Christine: What're you staring at..?  
  
Raoul: Your finger...it's all...um...pretty..and.... ....manicured...  
  
Christine: *smiles* Okay. Hey,don't you have a song soon? And where's that L.M lady?  
  
L.M: *walks out from backstage,smoothing her hair down a bit and smirking* Here.  
  
Lark: *marches back off to glare at Maddiun a bit more*  
  
Christine: Where were you?  
  
L.M: *shrugs* Takin' care of business *pause* Wonder if I could...*glances between the two of them then shakes her head* Nah...too old...  
  
Raoul: *looks clueless. or normal. whichever you prefer.*  
  
L.M: Ok. Once again,someone needs to find Erik and tell him it's 10 minutes to show time. If you don't know your lyrics...*eyes Raoul* I'll just make sure he can't have any kids.  
  
Erik: *looks down from the catwalk* That's reason enough there...  
  
L.M: *coughs* I SAID -10- minutes. *slight glance toward the light/sound board area*  
  
Lark: Huh?*blinks and looks back* Oooohhh..coming.  
  
L.M: *giggles* Yippy!*runs back off stage*  
  
****************************************************************************  
  
* 10 Minutes Pass,Erik still hasn't been found,L.M and Lark have completely vanished,as have Isis and Talon,Lythos is snarling in the locker room which still holds him and Nadir,and..... Raoul has managed to get another pair of bright yellow underwear....unfortunatly,they're Christine's panties.*  
  
Raoul: *whines as he troops around the stage* These things keep ridin' up on meee...  
  
Scythe: *from the hallway near the bathrooms* Please get him off th- Wait...who am I talking to? I'm security...  
  
Daniel: *walks over and flops down beside him* Yeah...we both are...too bad I'm not an inspector....  
  
Scythe: *rolls his eyes,drags Daniel up to the stage,both usher Raoul off*  
  
*The lights dim,Erik is...gone,apparently. A few noises are heard backstage,mostly snickering. Maddiun curses quite fluently and jams the cd into the player....a robotic sorta voice almost instantly comes on saying 'It's gonna be me.'*  
  
*The lights flare up,Erik,Nadir,Lythos,Raoul and someone unexpected are dressed as those ''beloved'' NSYNC boys! Scythe,the unexpected one,tries to run off stage,but gets stopped as a chain catches his foot*  
  
L.M: Too bad cuz,I forgot there were five and I KNOW you know this thing.  
  
Scythe: I'LL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!!  
  
Lythos: Trust me,we all plan on it.  
  
Erik: *shudders,trying to fix his Chris-styled hair* Yes,we will.  
  
*And the song starts*  
  
Raoul: You might been hurt babe,that ain't no lie. You've seen them all come and go, oh I remember you told me-  
  
Erik: That it made you believe in no man, no cry. Maybe that's why-  
  
*Christine is shoved out onto stage,the chains instantly pop up and trap her teenie bopper ass there too.*  
  
Erik & Raoul: *look stunned for a second*  
  
Erik,Raoul,Nadir,a very unhappy Scythe,and a slightly twitchy Lythos: Every little thing I do,never seems enough for you. You don't wanna lose it again,but I'm not like them. Baby, when you finally,get to love somebody? Guess what? It's gonna be me.  
  
Erik: *starting to stutter..though it seems intentional,of course,it could just be Christine in a shirt 12 sizes too small for her too.* You've got no choice b-babe,but to move on and you know..uh..There ain't no time to waste,so you're just too blind to see,but in the end you know it's gonna be me.You can't deny!  
  
Raoul: So just tell me why- *blinks* Why what?  
  
Erik,Raoul,Nadir,a still pissed off Scythe,and a very irritable Lythos: Every little thing I do,never seems enough for you. You don't wanna lose it again,but I'm not like them. Baby, when you finally,get to love somebody? Guess what? It's gonna be me.  
  
Erik: There comes a day....When I'll be the one....You'll see...It's gonna...  
  
Raoul: gonna...  
  
Nadir: gonna...  
  
Scythe: *monotone*gonna.  
  
Lythos: *getting more upset the entire time,growling now* gonna!  
  
Erik: it's gonna be me*looks at Sir Fopsalot*HA!  
  
All 5,at getting a glare from L.M they seem to brighten: All that I do,is not enough for you! Don't wanna lose it,but I'm not like that. When finally-  
  
Scythe: finally!   
  
All 5: you get to love,Guess what, guess what  
  
Raoul: *snarls*WHAT?!  
  
L.M: *snickers,as does rest of audience*  
  
All 5: Every little thing I do   
  
Raoul: doooo  
  
All 5: Never seems enough for you  
  
Erik: *staring straight at Christine* For you babe  
  
All 5: You don't wanna lose it again   
  
Lythos: Don't wanna lose it  
  
All 5: But I'm not like them Baby, when you finally   
  
Scythe: -lllleeeyy  
  
All 5: Get to love somebody   
  
Nadir: Looovvveee  
  
All 5: Guess what? It's gonna be m-  
  
Lark: *groans*  
  
L.M: *pokes him* Not here.  
  
Lark: *blinks,blushes*  
  
L.M: *grins evilly*  
  
Lythos: *that LONNNNG note*Oooooooooooohhhh  
  
Nadir,Erik,Raoul,Scythe: Every little thing I do,never seems enough for you. You don't wanna lose it again   
  
Raoul: Don't wanna-lose ittt,yeah  
  
All 5: But I'm not like them. Baby, when you finally   
  
Scythe: final-leeeeee-ey  
  
Nadir,Raoul,Scythe,Lythos: Get to love somebody   
  
Erik: Get to looovvee somebody-  
  
Nadir,Raoul: Guess what?   
  
Scythe,Lythos,Erik: Guess what?  
  
All 5: It's   
  
Erik: *winks* gonna be me.  
  
Christine: *faints*  
  
L.M: *cheers*   
  
A/n: And so we come to the end of another chapter...there will be more...oh yes...there will be...*light giggle* Review please. 


	5. chapter5

A/n: YAY! I'm back. It took a while,but now I'm able to post again. Isn't that wonderful? ^____^ *soft cackle*  
  
*Christine is still flopped on the stage. Noone dares touch her...god knows what might rot off if they do.*  
  
Lythos: *strains against the chains on his ankles*  
  
Erik: Don't bother...*slides his feet out of the boot-like shoes,walks out of the chains and heads over to Christine..but doesn't pick her up either* Christine?  
  
Raoul: YOU GET AWAY FROM HER! *lunges forward,hits the stage solidly,face first*ow..  
  
Scythe: *snickers*  
  
L.M: *looks Scythe over* What're you snickering about sag-pants boy?  
  
Scythe: *yanks the oversized pants up*Shut up...  
  
Maddiun: *shuffles through the cds*What's next L.M?  
  
Lark: *almost reflexively wraps arms around L.M and pulls her back against him*  
  
L.M: *giggles and snuggles up against him* Um...the one with the number 3 on it.  
  
Maddiun: ...WHO are you making sing this?  
  
L.M: hehe...my secret...  
  
Isis & Talon: *head out from the dressing rooms*  
  
Isis: Did we miss anything? I thought I heard a cat dying out here...  
  
L.M: You heard Lythos singing.  
  
Talon: We didn't miss anything then.  
  
Lythos: *still squirming in the chains* Hey!  
  
L.M: I didn't say a word..*whispers* but you're right.  
  
Lythos: *finally trips himself...but lands in a split*  
  
Lark,Maddiun,Daniel,Scythe,Erik,Nadir,Talon,Dash,Managers: *all wince at once*  
  
Gabe: *snickers from wherever he is*   
  
Audience girly: *runs up,fixes his legs,pulls them out of the cuffs then runs off -with- poor Lythos*  
  
L.M: V I think that's broken....  
  
Isis: I don't think it matters right now...  
  
Erik: *gently prods Christine with a toe*...Christineeee....  
  
Christine: *is still out,completely out,-totally- out*  
  
L.M: Could be a sleeping beauty type thing Erik dear.  
  
Erik: ...you want me to kiss her?  
  
Crowd: *cheers*  
  
L.M: Yep.  
  
Erik: *blushing very faintly* I don't know...  
  
L.M: C'mon.  
  
Crowd: *starts chanting 'Do it!'*  
  
Erik: *hunkers down and gives Christine a very -very- brief peck on the lips*  
  
Christine: *wakes up*...puppies?  
  
L.M: *blinks,looks back at Lark* Puppies?  
  
Lark: *shrugs,looks at Isis* Puppies?  
  
Isis: Why the hell are you asking me? Ask that dumb bitch. *points at Christine*  
  
L.M: *growls and walks forward on the stage* I got a lot to ask that bitch...  
  
Christine: *meeps and scurries behind Erik* hide me!  
  
Erik: *looks at L.M calmly,arms crossed*  
  
L.M: *walks right over,scribbles something in a handy little notebook,and takes Christine away*  
  
Erik: *hasn't moved an inch*  
  
Raoul: *looks up,at last,unfortunatly having regained conciousness from his fall* Hey...where'd Christine go?  
  
Erik: *growls from between his lips*I can't. move.  
  
Scythe: *finally manages to release those god forsaken cuffs* Why?  
  
Nadir: *points towards the retreating L.M* M.A.P.  
  
Tifa: *nods from the audience with an -evil- grin* Mighty Authoress Powers.  
  
Erik: *whimpers* Help.  
  
****************************************************************  
  
*About 30 minutes later,Erik has finally been allowed to move again. Raoul still needs a brain implant.*  
  
Erik: *stomps around the catwalk,trying to figure out where the psychotic L.M took his beloved Christine* I DON'T see them! Where ARE they?!  
  
*Meanwhile..*  
  
L.M: *has Christine pinned between two sinks in the ladies bathroom* Now.......were you born this stupid,or did it happen gradually? Like Raoul?  
  
Christine: *smiles* Raoul got dropped on his head.  
  
L.M: That explains a lot. *whacks her* Now start talking.  
  
Christine: *whimpers* Okay..okay....  
  
****************************************************************  
  
Dash: *walks backstage,looking around* I think I'm bored...again...  
  
Isis: *peeks her head out from another dressing room* There's a playstation in L.M's dressing room.  
  
Dash: *blinks,then walks off toward L.M's room*  
  
Lark: *lays on her bed,flipping through a magazine*  
  
Dash: *walks in,blinks at Lark* Hi.  
  
Lark: *looks up* Hi. *looks down at magazine*  
  
Dash: What're you reading?  
  
Lark: a magazine.  
  
Dash: About what?  
  
Lark: What's -in- the magazine.  
  
Dash: Which is?  
  
Lark: Things that interest me.  
  
Dash: ...do...I see a booby...?  
  
Lark: *twitches*...  
  
Dash: I'm telling L.M you're reading porn...  
  
Lark: Am not.  
  
Dash: Are too.  
  
Lark: I am -not-. Besides. You don't -read- porn.  
  
Dash: ...whatever. *flops down at playstation*  
  
Lark: ...Resident Evil? *gets drawn away from magazine*  
  
Talon: *manages to hear that from all the way down the hall* What about Ressy Evil?!  
  
Isis: *eeks as she's dragged into L.M's room,along with Talon*  
  
Lark: *points at the tv*  
  
Dash: eheheh..zombies are niceee...  
  
Lark & Talon: *all but entrance* Zombies..are...nice........  
  
Isis: L.M!!!!  
  
****************************************************************  
  
L.M: *pauses,just before smacking Christine*...did you hear something?  
  
Christine: *blinking* No...  
  
L.M: Oh. Alright then. *whack.*  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
*A good hour later,Christine is flopped on the floor. L.M is still having one heck of a good time kicking her every so often,Erik is still trying to find them,Lythos is doing things little children should not know about,Maddiun and Daniel have started a conversation on Final Fantasy VI,and Lark,Talon,and Dash are all hooked to the PS while Isis looks through the magazine from before*  
  
Isis: You know...those can't be real...  
  
Lark: *staring at the tv* HA! Ha HA ha!!!!! Yeah!  
  
Talon: Bah...that was an easy one...  
  
Dash: Are you two betting against my gaming skills back there..?  
  
Lark: *hides the 10 british pound note*uh...no.  
  
Talon: *pouts*  
  
Isis: ...I'm being ignored.....  
  
Talon: *looks back at her and grins* Yep  
  
Isis: *slings a pillow at him*  
  
Talon: *ducks,it hits Lark in the head*  
  
Lark: Ow *shoves Talon* Don't be a sore loser.  
  
Isis: Oh gods...here we go...*suddenly wishes she had popcorn*  
  
Talon: I'm not a sore loser,I didn't hit you.  
  
Lark: Did too.  
  
Talon: Did not!  
  
Lark: Too!  
  
Talon: Not!  
  
Lark: Too!  
  
Talon: NOT!  
  
Lark: YOU DID TOO!  
  
Talon: I DID NOT!  
  
Dash: *turns around and glares*would you both shut the HELL up?  
  
Talon & Lark: *blink*  
  
Isis: *giggles* Thank you Dash.  
  
Dash: *nods and turns back to his game*  
  
Lark:*whispers* Bet he can't beat the next room...  
  
Talon: *whispers back* Another tenner?  
  
Lark: You're on.  
  
*Meanwhile...*  
  
Erik: *blinks,looking down toward Lythos*...I didn't think -that- was humanly possible...*continues along the cat walk,frowning* Christineeee...where areee yoooouu...  
  
L.M: *looks up and blinks at Erik*AHHH! YOU CAN SEE IN HERE?!  
  
Erik: AHHH! I CAN SEE IN THERE!!  
  
Tifa: *twitches in one of the stalls*....  
  
L.M: *snickers*  
  
Christine: And the birdy goes mooo.....  
  
L.M: *looks down at her*...wonder if I did any permant damage...  
  
Erik: Christine! *jumps down and slams L.M into the wall* You little...  
  
L.M: *eeps then grins and whips out the notebook again* Want me to hurtcha?  
  
Erik: *pales and stares at Notebook* That thing's evil,isn't it?  
  
L.M: *nods and smiles sweetly*  
  
Erik: Ahem...er..*lets her up and brushes her off* Please continue the performance...um...Mademoiselle...?  
  
L.M: *squeals and jumps then glomps Erik*  
  
Erik: ACK!  
  
L.M: *lets him go then races off to the sound/light board* Maddiun,call up Meg Giry,Isis,Tifa,Christine,and Raoul,please?  
  
Maddiun: Yeah but Figaro-*blinks at L.M*...ok.  
  
L.M: *runs off,giggling insanely*  
  
Daniel: She does that a lot,doesn't she?  
  
Maddiun: Yep,now as I was saying....  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
Scythe: *finds the little gaming group and blinks*Why didn't anyone tell me this was gonna be here...?  
  
Lark: 'cuz.  
  
Scythe: ...'cuz...why?  
  
Lark:*stares at screen silently*  
  
Scythe: ...hello?  
  
Talon & Lark: *sit and eyeball the screen*  
  
Dash: *twitches every so often*  
  
Isis: ...they're gone Scythe...let it go...  
  
Intercom: We need Isis,Tifa,Christine,Raoul,and Meg to Dressing Room 6!  
  
Isis: *blinks*...Me?*stands and walks off*  
  
Scythe: *looks down at the 'magazine'*...I didn't know L.M drew yuri.....  
  
Lark: Uh huh...*goes back to eyeballing tv*  
  
Scythe: ...cool...*flops down*  
  
L.M: *walks by and snickers softly* I draw yaoi too boys...  
  
Dash,Scythe,Lark: *twitch*  
  
Talon: *sarcastically* yay. *pokes Dash*play!  
  
Dash:...kay. *continues to play*  
  
L.M: *heads down to start talking to the girls..and Raoul..who were summoned*  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
*Half an hour later,someone has pried the four guys from their game and yuri magazine,Lythos has -somehow- managed to make it back to his seat in one piece,with the audience girly right beside him,Erik and Nadir are in the audience,as well as the Managers..who all look very cozy with one another. Gabe still hasn't showed back up though,oddly enough.*  
  
Maddiun: *blinks as he stares back stage*....are you all ready yet......?  
  
L.M: *snickers* Just a minute! Get the music ready!  
  
Isis: *giggles and bounces,completely in hyper mode*yay yay yay!  
  
Tifa: ...I dun wanna do this....  
  
L.M: Too bad.  
  
Raoul: How come I can't see...?  
  
L.M: *snickers harder* because........you're blindfolded....  
  
Christine: .....I think I'm scared Raoul.......  
  
Raoul: It's okay Christine,I'm here.  
  
Christine: That's why I'm scared.  
  
Raoul: *confused*...huh?  
  
L.M: *giggles evilly* Nothing Raoul,dear...  
  
Raoul: dear? *gulps*  
  
********************************************************  
  
*In the Audience,as the stage goes dark*  
  
Lark: Well yeah...I mean...I would've shot him in the head first,but trying to explode his heart is good too...  
  
Talon: Eesh,you two are such ametures....  
  
Dash: Well I prefer FF....  
  
Lythos: *blinks and looks back at them* Gamage?  
  
Lark: *nods* Yeah,Ressy Evil  
  
Lythos: Awesome,where?  
  
Lark: L.M's room after this. I think she might hurt us if we ignore the performance,though...  
  
Talon: Good point...  
  
Lythos: She is semi-evil,after all...  
  
L.M: *from backstage*ONLY SEMI-EVIL?!  
  
Lythos,Talon,Lark,Dash:*eep*  
  
***************************************************************  
  
*Three minutes later,soft tromping is heard on the dark stage,slight giggles then a scream*  
  
Raoul: OH MY F**KING GOD! NO!  
  
L.M: YES!  
  
Raoul: *sob*  
  
L.M: MUSIC MADDIUN!  
  
Maddiun: *twitches and crams the cd in as fast as he can.....then walks off to go find that Ps1...*  
  
*The lights come up a roll of notes sounds out...Tifa and L.M are in pink and blue cloudy PJS,Christine has glow in the dark kitty ears on her head,Isis has an outfit somewhere between gypsy and 90's pop fan with puppy dog ears...and Raoul has tiger kitty ears on his head,a kitty nose,paws on his hands and feet,a long blonde wig,a purple poodle skirt and a hula hoop.*  
  
Isis: *practically bouncing,singing* I come home in the morning light,my mother says when you gonna live your life right? Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones,and girls,they wanna have fun! Oh girls just wanna have fun. *grinning*  
  
Tifa & L.M: *are running around back stage,chasing each other,throwing bits of popcorn from their pockets at one another*  
  
Christine: *giggles and bounces,doing a little dance*  
  
Raoul: *looks really pathetic,but hulahoops quite well. He manages to keep it above his waist*  
  
Isis: The phone rings,in the middle of the night. My father yells what you gonna do with your life? Oh daddy dear,you know you're still number one but,girls they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have--  
  
L.M: *tackles Tifa and tickles her,getting a squeak*  
  
Christine: *moves in closer to Isis*  
  
Raoul: *looks really upset by now and has tears running down his cheeks*  
  
Isis: That's all they really want,some fun,when the working day is done- Oh,girls,they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have fun.  
  
L.M & Tifa: Girls! They want- wanna have fun. Girls! Wanna have-  
  
Daniel: *does the funky shelly sounding part on a keyboard backstage*  
  
L.M: *gives him a thumbs up*  
  
Daniel: *grins*  
  
Christine: *suddenly runs over and tackles Raoul..then starts petting him*  
  
Raoul: *cringes* I'm never living this down..  
  
Isis: *bouncing,her doggy ears flopping up and down..she suddenly has a hula hoop too* Some boys take a beautiful girl-  
  
Talon: *rushes the stage,jumps on it,and snuggles Isis*  
  
L.M: Aww. *snaps picture*  
  
Isis: *grins big* and hide her away from the rest of the world. I wanna be the one to walk in the sun! Oh girls they wanna have fun,oh girls just wanna have-  
  
Lark: *seems to be pondering what Talon did,but decides against it and just grins at L.M*  
  
Isis: That's all they really want,some fun.   
  
Isis & L.M: When the working day is done! Oh girls!  
  
Isis: They wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have fun!  
  
L.M& Tifa: Girls! They want- wanna have fun. Girls! Wanna have-  
  
Isis,L.M,Christine,Raoul & Tifa: They just wanna! They just wannaaaa!   
  
L.M,Christine,Raoul & Tifa: Oh girls...  
  
Isis: They just wanna,they just wanna! Oh girls!   
  
L.M,Christine,Raoul & Tifa: Girls just wanna have fun!  
  
Isis: Girls just wanna have fun! Woo!  
  
Talon: *blinks at the 'woo' then snickers some*  
  
L.M,Christine,Raoul & Tifa: They just wanna,they just wanna!  
  
Isis: They just wanna,they just wanna.  
  
L.M,Christine,Raoul & Tifa: They just wanna,they just wanna,Oh girls!  
  
Isis: They just wanna,they just wanna-  
  
L.M,Christine,Raoul & Tifa: Girls just wanna have fun!  
  
Isis: They just wanna,they just wanna,oh girls,Girls just wanna have fun!  
  
Christine: *snuggles Raoul*  
  
Erik: *twitches in the audience*  
  
Isis: When the workin day when the workin day is done oh when the workin' day is done oh girls girls just wanna have fun   
  
L.M,Christine,Raoul & Tifa: They just wanna! They just wanna!  
  
Isis: they just wanna they just wanna   
  
L.M,Christine,Raoul & Tifa: Oh girls!  
  
Isis: They just wanna,they just wanna!  
  
L.M,Christine,Raoul & Tifa: Girls just wanna have fun!  
  
Isis: Oh girls...Girls just wanna have fun!  
  
L.M,Christine,Raoul & Tifa: They just wanna,they just wanna!  
  
Isis: When the workin day when the workin day is done   
  
L.M,Christine,Raoul & Tifa: They just wanna,they just wanna!  
  
Isis: Oh when the workin day is done   
  
L.M,Christine,Raoul & Tifa: Oh girls! Girls just wanna have fun!  
  
Isis: Oh girls,girls just wanna have fun...  
  
*The music stops...but suddenly there's a loud scraping sound from above and a soft laugh. The curtains swing close,Isis screams,Raoul and Christine run out from under the curtain,stage left,Talon and Isis fall through the front a moment later as two,younger screams are heard. Both get mysteriously cut off. When the curtain opens a moment later,L.M and Tifa are missing and there's a huge hole in the center of the stage*  
  
A/n: SEE?! See! You all thought this was an innocent humor fic! *jumps up and down* It has a plot! YAYNESS! ^.^ Anyway,I don't own sony either.......just so they can't sue me.....*pouts* *giggles* More...MUCH more..to come... 


	6. chapter6

A/n: Well,this one took a bit longer than I thought it would o.o; ^_^ Oh well! Everyone was happy with the last chapter...excepting for one thing. *Eyeballs the person who Talon is codenamed* You will be Osiris when I tell you you can be so :p  
^_^ Anyhow! Next song! Oh..and part of this 'mystery' is revealed..*cackle* ...And I still don't own anything...  
  
****************  
  
Lark:*runs up to the stage,shaking faintly* Where is she?!  
  
Isis: *staring at the stage then over at Talon then back at Lark* I....I don't know....  
  
Daniel: Hey? Where'd Maddiun go?  
  
Lark: *twitches*...I'll kill him..  
  
Lythos & Scythe: *run up to restrain Lark*  
  
Scythe: Calm down man,she'll be f-*freezes,looking down into the hole* Tifa!  
  
*Tifa lies beneath a big weight,smashed to itty bitty bitsies,a very faint snicker is heard from far off*  
  
Meg: *runs up from backstage,where she'd been helping L.M do the choreography* There's another phantom! And he's here!  
  
Erik: *frowns from the audience and slowly walks toward the stage. When he gets there,he looks down at the crushed person* Ha...I'd have more imagination than -that-...  
  
Christine: *realizing Raoul is still on top of her*um...Raoul..?  
  
Raoul: Muffin?  
  
Christine: Could...you move?  
  
Raoul: ...Why?  
  
Christine: Because this looks... ....nevermind...Erik,help?  
  
Erik: *walks over and helps her up as Nadir walks out with a little notepad in hand*  
  
Nadir: Alright,Gabe,Maddiun,and L.M are missing,and Tifa is dead. Correct?  
  
All: *nod slowly*  
  
Nadir: *squeaks and jumps in the air* Yippy skippy! I get to solve a mystery! *runs off*  
  
Erik: ....and someone fed Nadir cocaine apparently,too...  
  
All others: *nod once again,very slowly*  
  
Talon: Are we all just going to stand here,or are we going to try to find L.M?  
  
Gabe: *walks out from the backstage area* Did I miss something? What about L.M?  
  
Talon: *points at the hole in stage*  
  
Gabe: *looks down it*...Whoever did that did some damn nice work...  
  
Isis: Gabe.  
  
Gabe: Right. Back to L.M...  
  
****************  
  
L.M: *stands up,wincing as her leg pops softly* Ow,dammit. Where -am- I?  
  
Maddiun: *from her left* I don't know where we are...  
  
L.M: *blinks and looks over at him then yelps..then glares somewhat* You know,just because we're in a Phan Phic doesn't mean you get to be Erik's twin.  
  
Maddiun: *glares back at her* I just saved you from getting smashed through the stage. I'd think you'd be happy.  
  
L.M: *tries to take a step back...but falls and hits the ground* What d'you mean 'smashed through the stage'?  
  
Maddiun: *sighs and crosses his arms,moving over and picking her up,searching for somewhere to lay her* I was backstage,watching you and Tifa,and I saw someone holding a very large weight over their head,aimed toward you two. So I ran out and grabbed you...unfortunatly...we fell back about three floors down through a hollowed out wall...  
  
L.M: *blinks,very slowly then narrows her eyes at him* You're confusing me. ...but thank you,I think?  
  
Maddiun: *nods,putting her on a plank of plywood* Welcome..Now what to do?  
  
L.M: *grins* I have an idea...  
  
Maddiun: Oh God...  
  
****************  
  
Lark: *stands in the room he's been locked in....which is completely trashed by now,the door is half kicked in,and,unfortunatly,the windows have bars over them* Dammit...It's not as if it'll hurt....I'll make it -really- fast..  
  
Scythe: *from outside* Hence why you're in there.  
  
Lark: *growls and sits on the half ripped apart mattress*  
  
L.M: *screams* LARK?!  
  
Lark: *jumps straight up in the air*L.M!!!! *claws at the wall* Keep yelling!!!!  
  
L.M: *silent*  
  
*Back out on stage...*  
  
Nadir: *is questioning Isis and Talon* So you were just singing..you didn't notice anything unusual ma'm?  
  
Isis: Other than someone getting smashed through the floor? Nope. Not a damn thing. *glare,twitch*  
  
Nadir: *pauses*...*looks at Talon* Did -you- notice anything sir?  
  
Talon: *just -glares- at him*  
  
Nadir: *erks* Okay. Thank you. *scurries off*  
  
Dash: *is sitting,stunned,in the audience*...I think I feel ill....  
  
Daniel: *having gone back to the audience* I'm worse...my best friend is off somewhere,maybe dead,with a girl who continually upsets him,along with a guy pledging to rip his head off.  
  
Dash: *looks over at him* You win.  
  
Daniel: *blinks* Can I have a plushie? A teddy bear?  
  
Dash: ....No.  
  
Daniel: ....Why?  
  
Lythos: Because he doesn't have one,dammit. Now get UP here.  
  
Daniel: *sighs* Okies...*stands up and heads back to the stage.*  
  
Gabe: *has taken his place back in the balcony* I feel bored...I feel -very- bored....  
  
Ayesha: *walks up,rubbing against him with a loud,long purr*  
  
Gabe: Aw...*picks her up and gently scratches her ears* How's the kitty doing?  
  
Ayesha: Mew.  
  
Gabe: Aww!! *pets her more and cuddles her*  
  
Isis: *seeing this from the stage,sweatdrops*  
  
Gabe: *looks down and eyes Isis* What?  
  
Isis: ...Notthhhhhhhhinnnnngggg.....  
  
Christine: *looking around quietly*...has anyone seen Piangi or Carlotta?  
  
Raoul: Not since we got here....  
  
L.M: *comes across on a walkie talkie by the sound/light board* Someone? Anyone?! HELLO?!  
  
Raoul: *screams and runs over to grab it* L.M's possessing this device....thingermajig! Must kill it!  
  
Isis,Talon,Lythos: NO!  
  
Raoul: *smashes it*  
  
Isis: You fuggin idiot!  
  
Talon: *rubs his forehead* Ugh....  
  
Lythos: *goes over and punches him dead in the jaw then picks the pieces up and looks at Talon* Well techy boy?  
  
Talon: *looks at it then looks at Lythos,then back at it*...Give it here.  
  
Lythos: *tosses the pieces to him,Talon and Isis head off to try to fix the thing*  
  
Raoul: Tee hee....lookie at all the pwetty birdies...*falls over*  
  
Gabe: *snickers from the balcony*  
  
Meg: *looks down at Tifa*..Do we just leave her down there or..?  
  
Lythos: *nods* Yep. Someone call up the Maintence crew to fix this. I'm gonna go talk to Lark.  
  
Mme. Giry: *nods and walks off to do as she's told*  
  
Lythos: *takes a wrong turn as he goes backstage and sees a table,that was a buffet,completely empty* What the hells?  
  
Carlotta: *groans from under the table* Shouldn't've had that 20th giant chocolate chip cookie....  
  
Lythos: *picks up the tablecloth to reveal Carlotta and Piangi,their stomachs buldged out,completely stuffed with food. Piangi has passed out*.....  
  
Carlotta: *waves her pudgy little arm at him*...Hi........  
  
Lythos: ....Hi. Get out on stage. Drag him along too. *walks away*  
  
Carlotta: They want me to WALK?!  
  
Piangi: *shakes and wakes up screaming* Cara,Cara! I had a nightmare!  
  
Carlotta: *snuggles him as best she can* What was it?  
  
Piangi: Y..you said we have to -walk- somewhere!  
  
Carlotta: *shakes and sobs* It's true!!!  
  
Piangi: NOOOOO!!!!  
  
****************  
  
Meg: *searching through L.M's dressing room with Christine* Hey! L.M left a list of what songs to do,when,and who to do them! The show can go on!  
  
Christine: *looks over at her*...Burn it?  
  
Meg: *nods* Agreed.  
  
*Meg tries to set it on fire with a few matches from our favorite pyromaniac of an authoress' drawer...until she notices the flame retardant label on the back of the lamination*  
  
Christine & Meg: ......  
  
Raoul: .....What's that sound?  
  
*Out on stage*  
  
Mme Giry: *slams her cane down against the floor* 5,6,7,8! Andre! Music!  
  
Andre: *covers his ears and pushes the play button with his toe*  
  
*Back in L.M's dressing room as Miss Godawful herself,Brittany Spears,starts singing from the cd playing*  
  
Christine: *giggling* Oops I did it again...This is fun! *bounces*  
  
Meg: *shudders* She sings worse than Carlotta...  
  
Raoul: *on the floor,hands over his ears,screaming like a banshee* Turn it off!!! TURN IT OFF!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!  
  
Christine: *bouncing around like the braindead creature we all know she is* I'm not that innocent!!  
  
Meg: Didn't fool me...Nope...  
  
****  
  
Lythos: So -THAT- is why you don't have to worry about Maddiun doing anything to L.M...*thought*'or vice versa.'  
  
Lark: I'm giving you 3 seconds to get out of here before I maul you. 1..  
  
Lythos: *sweatdrops* Erk.  
  
Lark: 2.  
  
Lythos: *runs out of the room*SHUT IT! SHUUUUUUUTTTT IIIITTT!!  
  
Lark: 3! *lunges and hits the door solidly* OW!  
  
Scythe: Hasn't anyone thought of bringing one of her dogs in to sniff her out?  
  
Lythos: Wouldn't we have to go to her house?  
  
Scythe: I thought I saw Desarin outside......  
  
Lark: For God's sake! Go find him then!!!  
  
Scythe: ...but he got me all muddy last time...  
  
Lythos: *groans* Wimp..*heads outside*  
  
****  
  
L.M: Well...*eyeing the poor little walkie talkie that's just static* That didn't work..  
  
Maddiun: How many ways is Lark going to kill me? Do you think?  
  
L.M: Oh...I dunno...5..6...  
  
****  
  
A/n: More to come....ha! And there was singing in this one ^^!!   
  
Next Chapter: You will find out who killed Tifa.  
  
L.M and Maddiun shall escape from the cellars.  
  
Someone else will die! Who will it be?! Be watching for another chapter soon! Review! 


End file.
